Shovel, shovel, toil and trouble

Even on a doctor's paycheque, I can still only reasonably afford lodgings in a meager basement apartment. It's not large or luxurious, but it suits me quite well--except in one regard. If it weren't enough that I have to shovel out the driveway every day or two (particularly bad when we get heavily snowed on, like we did last night), I have to shovel a path up around the house to even get to the driveway.

After spending over three hours at it today, I have reached a conclusion: the shovel is not the best tool for the job. A flamethrower would be much quicker, easier, and more efficient at the job. No hard labour, just burning, intense fire. Flooding might be an issue, but water is much easier to deal with than snow!

Given the lack of precision a flamethrower has, not only would I likely not have to worry about shovelling, I would also not have a house left to have to pay rent for! Nor a car to buy gas for! And, I'd have a whole wad of insurance money, with which to skip the country before they find out that it's my fault my house burned down and my car exploded. Once I'm in Mexico, I won't ever have to worry about shovelling snow ever again. No siree, life will be grand; my only worries will be malaria and Hepatitis A&B.