Canonization is the process of making someone a Saint. If Vampiranity is to be any kind of religion at all, it needs Saints. Rather than appoint them myself, in an authoritarian manner, I'm going to put it to a democratic, open vote. If you think someone should be canonized in the Church of Vampiranity, leave a short blurb in the comments of this post naming your nominee and giving a brief reason why they should be canonized.
People to be Canonized should adhere to the guidelines of Vampiranity, which I should probably declare, huh? Vampiranity is dedicated to compassion to living things, and the swift and horrible slaughter of the living undead (emphasis on this one). Anyone who follows these is fair game for Canonization.
I'll leave the nominations open until the end of March 2007. That's a long time, but I want to get as much input as I can. And, hey, Rome wasn't built in a day.
So, get nominating!
Showing posts with label vampires. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vampires. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Vampiranity
Though a doctor of science, I once decided to give religion a try. If some idea has billions of people following it, it must be doing something right, right? Given the part of the world I'm in, the religious scene is predominantly Christian, so that seemed to be the way to go.
Here are my thoughts on it.
If we're going to live our lives by a very old book with no evidence to back it up, why the bible? Sure the bible has its share of action scenes, people being turned into pillars of salt, cities being destroyed, etc, etc, but on the whole it's a little too preachy for my liking. And the boring parts way outnumber the exciting parts.
To this end, I've decided to live my life by Bram Stoker's Dracula. It's an old book, and it has no evidence at all for its claims, so it satisfies the criteria as I see them for a Holy Book. Also it has vampires, something the bible is sorely lacking. What is more badass than vampires?
After meticulously studying the holy text for the religion I am dubbing "Vampiranity", I have composed a list of Three Commandments:
Commandment the First: Vampires exist.
Commandment the Second : Always travel in sunlight.
Commandment the Third: Always carry a stake.
In Vampiranity, we believe that one of two things happen when you die. You enter a restful, endless, sleeplike state. Or, you become one of the living undead. Break any of the Three Commandments and you are at risk of spending eternity sucking blood and never seeing the light of day again. The death that comes from exposure to sunlight after undeath is much worse a fate than undeath itself.
Now, some might argue that we've never seen a vampire. Have we ever seen a proton? I have complete faith that the computer I'm writing this on functions completely without assuming that protons exist. And you can't counter that with evidence because faith means believing in something even when there's overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
Also, you can't say that Vampires don't exist, because that's offensive to my beliefs.
Here are my thoughts on it.
If we're going to live our lives by a very old book with no evidence to back it up, why the bible? Sure the bible has its share of action scenes, people being turned into pillars of salt, cities being destroyed, etc, etc, but on the whole it's a little too preachy for my liking. And the boring parts way outnumber the exciting parts.
To this end, I've decided to live my life by Bram Stoker's Dracula. It's an old book, and it has no evidence at all for its claims, so it satisfies the criteria as I see them for a Holy Book. Also it has vampires, something the bible is sorely lacking. What is more badass than vampires?
After meticulously studying the holy text for the religion I am dubbing "Vampiranity", I have composed a list of Three Commandments:
Commandment the First: Vampires exist.
Commandment the Second : Always travel in sunlight.
Commandment the Third: Always carry a stake.
In Vampiranity, we believe that one of two things happen when you die. You enter a restful, endless, sleeplike state. Or, you become one of the living undead. Break any of the Three Commandments and you are at risk of spending eternity sucking blood and never seeing the light of day again. The death that comes from exposure to sunlight after undeath is much worse a fate than undeath itself.
Now, some might argue that we've never seen a vampire. Have we ever seen a proton? I have complete faith that the computer I'm writing this on functions completely without assuming that protons exist. And you can't counter that with evidence because faith means believing in something even when there's overwhelming evidence to the contrary.
Also, you can't say that Vampires don't exist, because that's offensive to my beliefs.
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