Why aren't cats considered manly?

I really do not understand why cats are not considered manly. Dogs, instead, are man's best friend, while cats are seen more as a pet for a girl or woman. It is my opinion that not only are cats not a less manly pet than dogs, but that they are, in fact, more manly. Here are several reasons why:

• To pet, play, or interact with a cat in any capacity is to risk personal harm. Not just bodily harm, from scratches and bites, but also emotional/reputational harm from being injured by a small, furry animal.
• Cats are cold-blooded killers. What part of massacring a cute little canary with your bare hands doesn't scream "manly"?
• Cats don't take any shit from anyone. They're not going to be bullied or bossed around. They will stand up for themselves (unlike wimpy dogs)!
• Who's the king of the jungle? That's right, A CAT.
• Cats are easily amused and love to explore.

I feel bad for James LaBrie

Dream Theater is, in my opinion, a fantastic band. They are certainly four of the most impressive instrumentalists on the music scene right now, and that they happen to all be in the same band is even more impressive and has amazing results. Their mastery of their instruments is almost complete, and they love to mix it up with strange sounds, on long, oddly-timed, solo segments.

Which leads me to James LaBrie. He's another musician at the top of his game. A trained opera singer, he has a large range, and good voice control, and he certainly fits in with the other high caliber musicians. However, as noted above, they tend to go off on 6-7 minute off-time instrumental sections, or have long instrumental songs, so that kind of leaves him with... very little to do on stage.

I'm sure he enjoys it, and I'm sure his voice can really use the rest during concerts. But I can't help but feel a little bad for him. :(

Dr. Science's Recipe of the Week (March 29-April 4th)

I haven't updated in a while! There hasn't been much going on to talk about. However I have an idea for a weekly thing. Maybe that will give me incentive to update at least once a week.

Aside from being an accomplished Doctor, I am also a brilliant chef and general food connoisseur (also a daring crime fighter, world renowned acrobat, a master watchmaker, and a wandering rock star). So, every week I will post one of my favorite recipes.

This week's recipe: Campus Newspaper Surprise.

Required ingredients:

One (1) Large Bucket
One (1) Spatula
One (1) Large Stirring Utensil
Many (n ϵ N) Blank Newsprints
Others detailed below.

Before starting, you must acquire a quantity of complaining. You need enough to fill the bucket about halfway. This can be acquired cheaply and in large amounts by visiting a seniors' home and asking any resident there how the times have changed since they were young. Or perhaps approach a friendly mall goth and ask them politely to explain what is wrong with society.

Once you have acquired the complaining, you must obtain an approximately equal amount of pretension. This can be done in several ways. One way would be to attend an art gallery and ask the artist to explain the meaning behind some of their paintings. A much easier method, though, would be to find a local Mac user (check your local Apple store if you don't know any) and ask them to explain to you, in detail, why Mac OS X is superior to Windows.

Once you have these two crucial components, put them into the bucket. On a low heat, use the stirring utensil to mix the two for 45 minutes or until they form a consistent, irritating pasty substance.

When that is done, turn off the heat source, and, using the spatula, smear this paste liberally onto the blank newsprint. Don't be stingy with it! The more thickly you lay it on, the better your Campus Newspaper Surprise will turn out.

Serve at room temperature. Serves n.

EDIT: Clearly this did not help me update. Whooooops.

The science of male restroom design

The following are some scientific observations I've made regarding male public restrooms.

On the psychological side of things, simply from naturalistic observation while using a restroom myself, two males will hardly, if ever, use urinals directly adjacent to one another. If there is no other urinal available except one adjacent to another one that is currently in use, the normal "polite" thing to do is to use a toilet stall, or wait until someone finishes at the urinals. If one enters an empty restroom, one will also usually take the urinal with the least chance of having someone use the adjacent urinal. In the case of a row of urinals, this would be the one at either end--there's only one urinal adjacent to it. Otherwise, most will take the next best one.

So, if there are 3 urinals, only 2 will be used (the ones on each end). If there are 4 urinals, only 2 will be used (the ones on each end). If there are 5, 3 will be used (the ones at each end, and the one in the center). If there are 6, only 3 will be used (the ones at each end, and then one of the 4 between them. Any remaining urinals will be adjacent to one that is in use).

So, for optimal cost/usage, it is best to have an odd number of urinals, and the best that can be hoped for is that if the designer intends for nurinals to be available, then they will have to install 2n-1 urinals.

A way around this is to put a divider wall between each urinal. In my opinion this is much cheaper, and allows for n urinals to be used if n are installed.

Shovel, shovel, toil and trouble

Even on a doctor's paycheque, I can still only reasonably afford lodgings in a meager basement apartment. It's not large or luxurious, but it suits me quite well--except in one regard. If it weren't enough that I have to shovel out the driveway every day or two (particularly bad when we get heavily snowed on, like we did last night), I have to shovel a path up around the house to even get to the driveway.

After spending over three hours at it today, I have reached a conclusion: the shovel is not the best tool for the job. A flamethrower would be much quicker, easier, and more efficient at the job. No hard labour, just burning, intense fire. Flooding might be an issue, but water is much easier to deal with than snow!

Given the lack of precision a flamethrower has, not only would I likely not have to worry about shovelling, I would also not have a house left to have to pay rent for! Nor a car to buy gas for! And, I'd have a whole wad of insurance money, with which to skip the country before they find out that it's my fault my house burned down and my car exploded. Once I'm in Mexico, I won't ever have to worry about shovelling snow ever again. No siree, life will be grand; my only worries will be malaria and Hepatitis A&B.

Look out, USA! Here comes DR SCIENCE!

It is official! I will be visiting Amanda from April 25th until June 24th. That's two entire months.

I don't think I could be more excited.

Dammit, Jack. What did I ever do to you?

Sunday past I spent the night at a colleague's place. It was a good time all around, but I intended it to be one night. Nature had other plans, however. On Monday we got the blizzard that had recently torn through the North-Eastern USA, leaving a trail of corpses in its wake. I couldn't leave during the blizzard, and the next day the road conditions were so poor that even the buses weren't running, so I couldn't get home then, either. I didn't get home until Wednesday. WEDNESDAY. Gawd.

The worst part of all? I've become absolutely addicted to Diddy Kong Racing DS. And I don't have a DS. This will be torturous. I have been reading reviews of DKRDS, and they are mostly pretty poor. If they were going to rate it badly for its poor touchscreen implementation, then that would be one thing. But the major complaint seemed to be "it's not Mario Kart."

...

OF COURSE IT'S NOT! I mean, how dare it take a different approach to the kart racer genre, huh?